Published on April 2nd, 2009 | by Mike3
Chess Boxing….you’ve read correctly
What’s that you say? You like a challenge? You enjoy being punched in the face while simultaneously thinking of strategic maneuvers to usurp your enemy? Well have I got the sport for you. Chess boxing….that’s correct. This is no illusion, it isn’t some nancy ass word game I’m playing with you. It’s a disgustingly self explanatory title.
Two tough, intelligent sons of bitches face one another in 11 alternating rounds of chess and boxing. The rounds start with a 4 minute chess round, immediately followed by a 2 minute boxing round. The battle continues only to stop as a result of a knockout, checkmate, or judges decision. Each opponent begins with 12 minutes of playing time on the chess board, with warnings being issued for slow play.
Now I know what you’re thinking…this if f’n simple, I will become an awesome boxer and beat their asses, how tough can these chess playing fruit loops be, after all, most people who play chess are weiners. Wrong, Biff…very wrong. In fact, not only are some of the Chess Boxers world class chess players, they are also very talented, experienced fighters. So if you intend to compete in the Chess Boxing realm, I suggest you put your Tapout hat on, head down to the gym in your flashiest Affliction t-shirt and flex in front of a mirror for a few hours. Follow that up with some intelligence absorption training. Rinse and repeat for months, and someday down the road you might find yourself in a ring fighting these mythical men.
Below is a video from the first ever Chess Boxing World Championship. Keep in mind it is one of the first official fights ever, since this point Chess Boxing has gained notoriety and far better competitors….the video is just something to give you an idea.
A much much better video below, outlined on ESPN Sports Center. Includes Lennox Lewis statements on his Chess Boxing viewpoints. Who wouldn’t pay to see Lennox Chess Box?
Alright, now for you meatheads out there who still think Chess boxing is a crock of shit, I’ve found something more your speed. Something you likely bob your big thick heads to while you grunt disgustingly at the gym…it’s a shame you don’t listen to the words.
Some goddamn Wu-tang for you, underlying Chess Boxing references? I think so. That’s correct, now that I feel I have gotten through to everyone as to why Chess Boxing deserves to be on the maninstitute site, I can slowly fade away. But it is important to keep in mind, that just because you bench 600lbs, doesn’t mean you qualify for the maninstitute….compliment your brawn with some brains, a high kill count or dismemberment, and you’re in.