Why MAC Does Not Equal MAN
I’m sure nobody has missed it, the iRevolution that is. See how I did that? The little i and capital R, I did it because I’m hip, and I’m cool, and I am everything a PC is not. I also did it because I spend my afternoons sitting in the trendy coffee shops, greasing my disgusting dreads and tearing holes in my extra small black jeans. Casually sipping 6$ lattes and sporting a t-shirt illustrating some local unknown band, soon to make it big. I do realize that I am an art student (pre-unemployed) and that I should in no way be able to afford the ridiculously over priced coffee I am drinking, let alone the Mac book on the table or the iPod in my ear. Luckily for me I am a self entitled spoiled wannabe hipster who’s mommy and daddy have enough money to dish out the cash for all the overpriced Apple products I can handle, making me the envy of all my attention starved friends.
Alright, I would take back the first paragraph, but I mean it. Well, I don’t mean it in a literal way, I’m really not talking about myself for those who didn’t pick up on the sarcasm, I’m the goddamn co-founder of the Man Institute for christ sakes. Not only am I sick of the ridiculous Mac commercials, I am sick of Mac owners constantly rubbing it in my face. Saying things like “PC’s are out of date” or “get with the trends” or even “punch me in the mouth because I’m such a big fucking idiot I deserve to be run through a wood chipper.” I will start with my personal reasoning for hating Macs, although I am sure it will mean nothing to you Mac fanboys. Eventually I will get into the real reasons why Macs can suck my dick.
My Reasons
- I don’t want to be associated with a bunch of Mac using wieners. It’s like a mini religion, only with fewer idiots.
- I don’t feel like paying ridiculously over priced costs for something that doesn’t out perform a regular PC.
- I hate people who follow trends to a t, thinking they’re following excellence only to be let down when they find out what they have is an overpriced paperweight.
- I don’t want to have to defend my Mac using to my other manly friends who know Macs blow goats.
- I don’t feel like taking a course to learn how to use the goddamn thing.
- It looks like shit. As far away from unique as possible and they still defend it’s uniqueness.
- Safari sucks dick for a living. www.safarisucks.com
- I don’t want to accidentally blow on the piece of shit to hard and have it fall to pieces.
Now, for the real reasons why Mac sucks, and why Mac users are the second most annoying people on the planet. Followed closely by children.
- Maddox says so. WHY MACS SUCK DICK
- More proof. Mac=Giant Vagina
- Mac still blowing goats
For those of you who are too lazy to click the links and read (likely Mac users) I have included a few excerpts from the articles;
PCs Are Better For Games. Macs have, for some reason, have never been very good to gamers — games on the Mac have largely been an afterthought while Microsoft is balls-deep in its Xbox experiment
You can’t build a Mac easily, and you can’t really customize them, either — not unless you want to invalidate your warranty. They’re like fancy sports cars run on a single computer chip, fixable only at your dealer for a set price
Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It’s because of all the calories they burn because they can’t shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths?
I don’t know why Mac users get so defensive when you call them idiots. I mean, Apple is a company that has built its entire user base around the fact that its users can’t do simple things like turn their computers on.
Apple makes a huge point about the easability of configuring an internet connection on a mac. All new Windows versions come with just as easy to use guides for connecting to the internet with modem, lan or anything else. They also brag about such obvious tools of communication like email, favorites and contacts. Yes Apple, this is really new and hot stuff, you are indeed innovative. Or maybe not.
So what have we learned from these 10 points that Apple provides for the potential buyer. We have learned that Apple likes to tell their future customers that the mac is built on technology they probably already are using on their PCs. They also lure the extremely naive buyers with words like internet, word-processing and cd-burning.
Below is a video providing some informative anti-mac information. Naturally they are all spoofs of that garbage Mac commercial starring that dork from “Dodgeball”.
The Man Institute is only interested in embracing a more manly future for our civilization. In creating the Mac, Apple has inadvertently created a lifelong nemesis.
Let the hate mail flow.
info@maninstitute.com
Related Posts
How to Start Shaving Like a Man – Guest Post →
Are You Headed To A Sausage Party? Use This Sweet Facebook App to Find Out! →
Part Motorcycle, Part Tank: Hyanide and Baal Concept Bikes →
“I don’t know why Mac users get so defensive when you call them idiots. I mean, Apple is a company that has built its entire user base around the fact that its users can’t do simple things like turn their computers on.”
First off when you call anybody an idiot…there going to get defensive, idiot. All of the people that post here show that there are just as many Dickwads on that use a PC. By the way I use both. Most everything you take for granted in the UI on a PC is taken from Apple or someone else. I’ll bet most of the people that have posted here have never used OSX for any length of time. If it’s happening on Windows it probably happened on the Mac 3 – 10 years earlier. I work with PC’s & PC users all day…none of them know their ass from a hole in the ground. They can barely send an attachment with an email. I’m sure it is like this in most office & home environments. Macs were doing desktop publishing & music, etc. while PC’s could barely beep.
There we go. We were wondering where the angry comments were. We saw all you Mac users checking out the post, but you’re the first to say anything. Kudos are in order.
Obviously people will get offended when called idiots, granted, but we feel that people who prefer to use a Mac over a PC based on the fact that they can’t operate a PC (As is the case with many Mac users) should at least realise that they cannot operate something that a half brain-dead monkey should be able to figure out. Mac is to the PC what a tricycle is to a bike or what checkers is to chess. It’s the dumbed down little brother of a far superior machine. If you can’t figure out a PC, maybe you should just go back to the ball and cup game and forget the internet altogether.
Thanks for the post!
-Tim
I find this ironic. My old roommate couldn’t figure out how to use my iBook to save his life. The only Mac elitists I’ve met are professional audio engineers and producers. Most of the people I meet who have an opinion on computers hate Macs because they don’t know how to use them. Not-Mac users whine, bitch and complain constantly about how they hate Macs and think Mac users are snobs. I used a not-Mac for most of my life. I’ve used 98, XP and Vista and managed to figure them out pretty easily. A few years ago I bought my iBook. I see no reason that I’d ever want a not-Mac again. It’s just generally better.
Furthermore Microsoft and not-Mac manufacturers are a detriment to technological advancement. Curiously, as Microsoft owns a large portion of Apple, they try to pretend it doesn’t exist. Microsoft developed the mp3 as their standard lossy compression for audio. Apple developed the AAC, a better quality file type (statistical fact, not opinion) in a smaller file size. Macs will play mp3s automatically, but not-Macs won’t open AACs unless it has Apple software installed. Apple also developed the FireWire, which made USB obsolete, but because manufacturers often don’t even install FireWire in the factory, USB remains the dominant peripheral protocol. And so on and so forth.
In response to Apple being a company who succeeds because people don’t want to figure out Windows: Microsoft is a company that succeeds because people don’t want to figure out Linux.
-Warren
Wow I LOVED this!
I’m a Mac user. Have been for over two decades.
I can’t imagine a stronger Pro Mac article, than what you’ve written.
Keep up the good work, of removing ALL doubt about the intelligence of PC users.
It’s all coming together now and it took long enough. Hell, half the reason for posting the article is because I knew a bunch of nancy boys would get their panties in a bunch. In actuality, it was about the only reason. Congrats on making your point. You spent 10 minutes ranting to someone who doesn’t give a shit.
Oh, and Conny, congrats on being one of the worlds first Mac users, you’re an inspiration to us all. Given the fact that you’re arguing a computers superiority on a Man website that is obviously directed towards humor, it is safe to say our intelligence levels are at least on par. Oh, and is your name some clever twist to the word cunnilingus? I bet it is…that Conny is such a clever girl. May you could hook me up with your information? We could debate computers over a bubble bath, pumpkin.
Maybe we should submit this article to PCsurfer.com and call upon some allies. We could have a Mac vs. PC fist fight! One sided I’d think. Just like a Mac vs. PC vagina touching competition. It all leans towards PC.
It’s ironic that the man institute is advocating that people act like sheep and go with the flock to wintel world. Well, it’s a sheep’s role in life to get shorn and eaten by wolves. It doesn’t help that the sheep keep bleating that they don’t want to be sheep, it just attracts the attention of the wolves.
Just because one uses a Mac, it doesn’t mean he is a Mac user.
I use PC’s at work making me an not-idiot. I have Macs at home, clearly making me an idiot. Had PC’s at home during 2 periods of not-idiotness, but they resulted in too much wasted maintenance time. I just prefer something that works whenever I need it which makes me a lazy idiot I suppose. If you have truly tried both platforms and find one works best for you, good for you. I’ve never understood how people get so agitated by other’s computer needs, habits, or preferences, but then I’m an idiot (at least part of the time). Nor have I understood why angry, malicious blogger, commenters, or whatever have any true relevance to anyone else. But what really is a mystery is why these people feel their opinions are worth hearing, because they aren’t. It is interesting that if it weren’t for the marvelous media that the computer provides we would hear from but an extremely small percentage of these folks. I suppose it goes back to the adage that opinions are like assholes…everyone was blessed with at least one. This appears to be the case for most of that stated above, but then I’m just a semi-idiot. Thanks for helping me with this self-realization.
PCs are gay.
A computer cannot have a sexual preference. Not yet anyways.
I think the main considerations for never switching.. huh oh excuse me , my 9 year old needs me to reinstall Windows XP in her dell because it is slow motion virus city. Happens every few months like clockwork.
True story Windows really does suck.
Haahhaaaahhhhaa!
This site reeks of insecurity and it’s twin overcompensatory false bravado.
If there was any real doubt you have removed it.
The drivel here sounds very much like a schoolyard bully, who is too retarded to understand what everyone else got long ago and unfortunately he will never be able to understand.
If PCs own most of the world why do they even notice Macs?
If PC is such a dominant and superior platform, shouldn’t it be self evident?
If it is self evident then why are you trying so hard to defend it?
If it is self evident why is everyone moving to the Mac?
If PC is superior as claimed here why is Microsoft claiming Macs are superior but PCs are cheap (crap)?
Just wondering why PC.
Anything intelligent to say PC?
Surely there’s an intelligent PC somewhere who can speak for you little boys, isn’t there?
jim said:
It’s ironic that the man institute is advocating that people act like sheep and go with the flock to wintel world.
- Shit man, aren’t you just sheep in a different flock? I bet you’re all unique and special flowers, each remarkably different from the next.
PC guy said:
I think the main considerations for never switching.. huh oh excuse me , my 9 year old needs me to reinstall Windows XP in her dell because it is slow motion virus city. Happens every few months like clockwork.
True story Windows really does suck.
- Pfft I would suggest you spend 10 minutes teaching your daughter to reinstall it herself, since it happens every few months. If you don’t we are just going to end up with another lazy Mac user. What the hell is your daughter doing on the computer at age 9 anyways? By the time this argument is done she will be leading the Mac charge.
And Kent, jesus christ man, have the veins in your forehead retreated yet? I think I missed the part where I physically became the PC. In a Mac world, anything is possible. And that is why I love you crazy kids.
Fagspotter, good point. Finally someone has something intelligent to say.
Funny, but I just read on /. that only REAL men use Linux. I work on my own car, fix my own house, and yeah muck around on my Linux box. Windows and Mac are for those who can’t even change their own oil. let alone properly operate a computer.
Weird, I didn’t realize auto mechanical ability and computer savvy were interchangeable skills. Bruno, why comment when everyone before you has said what you’re saying, but better? It’s a waste of gas, man.
Jealousy is so petty and UNMANLY. Please, get a life!
A Maddox fan. Sheepingly hates Macs because Maddox said to in 2007.
Meh.
Operating a site in support of the state of manliness, IS the strongest declaration of, the lack thereof.
Anyone who has to declare their “manliness” has lost the game already. If your presence doesn’t demonstrate the point without doubt, then opening your mouth simply further degrades your desired position.
Similarly using a Mac declares to anyone who is worth influencing that you aren’t some mindless sheep chasing endless malware and coding ignorance and have both the brains and wherewithal to choose something better.
If you live in the fantasy world of Microsoft FUD, these statements will all be gobbledegook, that only extended exposure to the cure could raise your discernment to a level where choice is possible. Few who are still rabid fanboys of Microsoft, will ever rise above sheep mind, so you may as well ride this ship to the bottom.
I like the replies where they have obviously used big words in an attempt to sound smarted than they are and to try confusing others.
A prime example is the super-intelligent Kent:
“This site reeks of insecurity and it’s twin overcompensatory false bravado. ”
We post an article naming Maddox once, an all of a sudden we’re sucking his dick? Give it a rest. We named several sites in this article. Are we sucking off Macs-Suck.com because we agree with them and named them in the article too, then?
Mac users are this cliquey little cult of people who can’t handle being poked fun at or criticised. You guys are all proof. To the Mac users who read this article, and closed the window without posting your whiney little comment, good on you. You still aren’t manly, but you’re a step ahead of the above Mac users.
Jesus christ, did any of you even read the rest of the comments? Particularly the part where I said the entire article was just a rouse to get people going.
Funny, it’s easy to argue something when the only article viewers are from YOUR WEBSITE. Still, you don’t shut up and realize you’re repeating the same shit over and over again, and the more it is repeated, the more ridiculous you all sound. I was apprehensive to believe these Mac stereotypes completely, but it turns out you really are a bunch of pushy bastards.
Jack you’re an idiot. Read before you post. Pass the message along to the rest of your Mac friends before they come here. You likely spent 10 minutes on that post attempting to sound intelligent, and the fella above you made a much better point in a single line of text.
For anyone else who is unable to grasp the bigger picture. The website is for fun, not to “declare our manliness.” If you take the shit we say seriously, maybe you should be typing on a PC, come join our flock. I’m sorry that some of you are unable to take a joke, and that in making your points you’re making those damn PC users seem even more intelligent.
“The website is for fun, not to “declare our manliness.””
As if we need to declare our manliness anyways. One look at our manly chiseled god-like figures and their shoulders would hunch, tears would fill their little eyes and run down their little cheeks, their pants would instantly fill with turds and they would attempt to run away.
Just what I expected out of this,
all the little Mac fanboys having a huge hissy fit.
Every post up there from you idiots is basically the same post over and over again, how original. Way to stick out .. just like macs.
You guys are only proving what is said in the article.
Now enough about you douches.
I own a newer windows laptop, and a brand new mac desktop.
When people come over they look at the Mac and see how dumb it looks and how big of piece of junk it is and they instantly opt to borrow my laptop.
In fact, my laptop cost the same as the mac desktop, except my laptop has way better.. well everything. For something I can carry and use anywhere/anytime I want. This laptop destroys the Mac in virtually every aspect, for the same price. The Mac I own is basically a giant, expensive, paperweight.
PC>MACS.
There is no arguing with a Mac user. Usually if an idiot wastes money, they will try to justify that waste of money.
mac = if you are a retard and want a pc as slow as your brain.
pc = if you arent a retard and want a pc faster than your brain.
All of these comments are made by underaged faggots that are fighting so fiercely for the computer they own, because they don’t want to admit the fact that they are too technologically ignorant to know what kind of computers are worth buying.
Macs blow so much ass. Try and play ANY online game on them… YOU CANT.
you sit there waiting for it to load. Then you realize for the last five minutes your Mac glitched out and its not going anywhere.
Good luck turning that bitch off to reset it. Mac has this game they like to play with you.. its called ”lets hide the power button”
Where as my slightly older pc games just fine. Browsing the internet is way less hassle. We have this nifty feature called ”right click” upgrading IS EASY! And its a shitload cheaper to maintain.
Mac users suck as much if not slightly more then the mac system itself
PC’S RULE AND ALWAYS WILL! MACS SUCK ASS. PC’S ARE THE BEST. MAN INSTITUTE IS RIGHT. PC’S RULE. MAC USERS ARE STUPID. PC’S ARE BETTER AT CHEAPER PRICE. PC’S DO IT ALL AND THEY ROCK. MAC USERS ARE LUSERS. PC IS THE BEST ALWAYS FOR EVER.
“It’s ironic that the man institute is advocating that people act like sheep and go with the flock to wintel world. Well, it’s a sheep’s role in life to get shorn and eaten by wolves. It doesn’t help that the sheep keep bleating that they don’t want to be sheep, it just attracts the attention of the wolves.”- Jim
Act like sheep? Yeah, coming from somebody who bought a computer that looks exactly the same as the next mac, faggy and dripping with pure white man juice. Enjoy your overpriced piece of outdated hardware, you pompous ass.
Thanks for a lovely site, I am very impressed
Nice website. Great online affiliate program. Thank you.
Mac good. PC bad. PC users sheep. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaa. Where on-button.
I’ve used PCs since they were made available and have owned some great machines. I am not a “casual” user. I do graphic design and media as a career (23 years). When I made the switch to Mac…I was furious at PC. There is no time wasted searching for files, downloading FUCKING DRIVERS OMG, and NO blue screen of death. Ever. I’ve owned flagship PCs that worked very well. However, for video scrubbing, for music editing, for animation, …yeah, I really have no idea what the PC people are so worked up about. I have an office with two powerful PCs (because the client database software is only available for PC), but I will ONLY do my work on our Macs.
Trying to find absolutely anything is a breeze. Everything is actually where you think it should be! The Apple machines are beautiful and thoughtfully designed. Again, I really have no idea why people are actually getting mad about who chooses which platform, but I’ll leave on this one last thought: In my two decades of using only PC, I can’t say I had ever been completely wow’d and amazed near as much as I am by my iPhone, iPad, MacBookPro, G5 and iMac. They are shiny, silver miracles that make work pure pleasure.
Yes, real men do not want to be incapable of playing video games on their machine.
Joking aside, I do agree that macs are useless.