The Man Cave: Put Your Feet Up and Be Your Disgusting Self

From the day a young male’s testicles drop, he yearns for something very specific. Although this yearning may be taking place subconsciously at the moment, eventually it will explode from him like last nights Taco Bell. Now, you’re probably wondering what the subject of this yearning happens to be….if you’re single (and didn’t read the article title). If you’re married however, the moment you realized you absolutely needed the subject of this post was the exact moment that white gold wedding band slipped over your sausage finger. The Man Cave, or Penis Pavilion if you prefer.

The Man Cave is the one spot in any house (or on the property) that women are forbidden from entering. It’s kind of like the proverbial bomb shelter of the house, that also only happens to fit one person, one person who has man bits. I compare it to a bomb shelter as The Man Cave is never created until the first bomb drops and the man of the house is left scrambling wondering “What the hell am I doing? Where do I go? How did I end up here?” The first bomb of course is marriage. With any luck the impact of any subsequent bombs is lessened or even neutralized by that wonderful, dark, damp, smelly crawlspace you’ve created for yourself under the living room staircase, or in the tiny room that was supposed to be the family “office”.

The best part of The Man Cave, is that not only are women not allowed in the place, it’s that women have absolutely no desire to enter the premises. It’s security through innovative design. The innovative design I’m referring to involves the posters of your favourite mid 90′s porn stars strewn on the walls and disgusting amount of pizza boxes and booze bottles laid out ingeniously all over the floor. Not to mention your morbidly obese friend who’s going through a tough divorce and living on your sofa doing nothing but munching on Cheetos and playing COD in his stained tighty whities and matching thermal underwear top. To the average woman, this looks like utter and complete chaos. A place they never wish to see or smell again. Through this manly creativity an invisible barrier has developed, essentially allowing the man of the house to express himself in any disgusting way he wishes without worrying about consequences. Below I’ve got pictures and videos of men who have taken their man cave masterpieces to a new level and in doing so, have created a Valhalla that all other men will surely strive toward.

Golf Cave- Note the astro turf carpet